Recognizing and Dealing With the Highly Expressive Person

Remember that people are ‘blends’ of different behavioral styles.  Here we focus on general terms for the expressive person. (On the DISC Behavioral Assessment they are the “High I” – Robin Williams is a great example.

Behavior:  The more expressive a person is the more they are on the move.

Their body language is movement – they ‘talk with their hands’, their head is always moving, they love to talk about anything and everything.  They may include lots of detail, but even the detail will be superfluous.  They are good promoters, influencing people to do things with and for them.  They can’t sit still.  I have one IT client that you can’t beat for knowledge when my computer crashes, but as long as I have worked with him as both a client and vendors, he never quite seems to get all of the loose ends tied up.

Speech:  Rapid and expressive.

They may never complete a sentence, but in these instances they are moving from thought to thought very rapidly.  I have one client that moves so fast she’s a blur.  When you read her emails they are lengthier than they need to be, usually include witticisms and asides, and as you read it you say “Does she ever come up for breath, even when she’s typing?”  They write like they talk, unless they know it is critical information and have been trained to deliver it.  My IT client had an issue getting information from one of his clients.  I recorded a 2 hour conversation with my him and in the end came up with four one-sentence questions that take 2 minutes to read.

 Dress:  Bright colors or, if in a business environment where they think they need to be conservative they can’t resist some part of their apparel being noticeable.  Maybe a purse that’s a color that seems incongruous with their suit, or a bright tie, etc.

Cars:  Typically their car will not be new, as they spend their money on other things.  They may have to clean the car seat off for you to get in.  Again, if the car IS new, it’s a ‘look at me’ car.

DON’T

Use short, clipped sentences. 
Leave no time to ‘chat’.
Rely on paperwork, long emails, procedure manuals to convey the message.
Use overly much detail in writing – they can’t sit still for it.
Use overly much detail when speaking to them – they want to have their say and too much detail is stopping them from getting on with it.
Give them your opinion unless asked.  And don’t be surprised if they ask a lot of people the same thing and then do what they want anyway.
Leave decisions hanging in the air.  They won’t get decided.
Be impersonal.
Talk down to them.
Don’t try and control the conversation.
Remember, they are easily distracted by shiny objects!

DO:
Take time to get to know each other.  Mostly time for you to get to know them.
Define the problem in writing.  Be careful about the amount of detail, though.
Use positive incentives (not necessarily money) when appropriate.
Let them know how they win and will be admired.
Provide “yes” or “no” answers–not maybe.
Talk about them, be interested in them.  (Don’t fall asleep listening to them)
Name drop using names of people they like and admire or see as important.
Ask for their opinions regarding people.
If you are going to invite them to a function, make sure there are activities that suit their frequent change of pace.

Bart Gragg
http://www.mentalmeals.com

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